Lighten up

lightbulbs

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8 thoughts on “Lighten up

  1. Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

    He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”

    He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”

    Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.

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    • My wife was pregnant with our first child and sent me to buy her some bras.

      The shop assistant asked me whether I needed to purchase Salvation Army Bras, Centrelink Bras, or Baptist Bras.

      On asking what the difference was, she told me that Salvation Army Bras lift up the fallen, whilst Centrelink Bras support the masses.

      “And what are Baptist Bras?” I asked. She told that they make mountains out of molehills.

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  2. Finally Brethren…
    The Screwed on Bulb that coined the phrase “Red Light District” is still a screwed on bulb. Maybe we should ascertain what light our screwed on bulbs give out.

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