A writer with Aspergers talks of faith
I was asked one day, “if you see everything so black and white, how can you believe in God?” My answer dumbfounded the inquiring person : I said “because everything IS black and white, how could I NOT believe in God?”
Yes I live in a literal world. No doubt that I do not work in subtleties. So I can understand asking how can I have faith. Isn’t faith believing in something you can’t see?
To me faith in God as related to Aspergers has three elements: logic, hope and acceptance.
Let me insert my honest disclaimer here before we begin. I am not one of those self-righteous people who thinks I am better than everyone just because of my faith. I am actually quite the sinner. I can cuss a sailor out of the room, I smoke, I am FAR from perfect. This post isn’t about how you should save your souls (although I hope you do!) It is about the perceived conflicts between having Aspergers and having faith in Jesus Christ.
Being an Aspie, there is a down side to my faith; I don’t communicate my emotions well. You won’t find me jumping up and down screaming Praise God and Amen in church. That used to bother me. I just couldn’t be like that. Did that make me less o a Christian? Now I am comfortable with how God made me. Now I know how my Aspergers works. So its no big deal to me.
My faith in Jesus has always been easy because I CAN see things logically. I think it is my logical brain that helps me see better than most NT’s. When I see payers get answered I don’t try to second guess if it was really an answered prayer or coincidence. I watch NT’s do that a lot.
As an Aspie, there are questions that can only be answered with God. Watch a baby come into this world. A billion things had to happen to get to the point of birth. How can something that complex happen by accident?
I love when people argue the Big Bang theory. They can be so passionate about their believe of the creation of the universe. For the record I believe in the Big Bang as well. However they can’t explain what made the Big Bang happen. I can; God.
Evolution? What about dinosaurs? I say what about them? Noah didn’t bring any on the ark. Duh (sic).
Then people go after the big question: ‘where did God come from?’ I like to pick this apart. The people who ask that question are the same ones who love science fiction stories of space and worm holes and time travel, but refuse to admit that God is not bound by time as we understand it.
To my Aspie Brian, that is the only logical answer.
There is so much LOGIC to God. Let me give a few examples-
If the dinosaurs didn’t die we would not have oil. Logical.
The intricate process of the food chain. That delicate balance can’t mathematically happen by chance.
There is almost a mathematical formula to everything. Even to following the bible. When I gladly pay my tithe, I have no money troubles. When I don’t pay my tithe thus keeping that extra money, it seems I always have money trouble.
So logically looking at the odds, the bible is right.
What is faith if it isn’t hope?
As an Aspie, I take comfort in my faith. I have hope for a future and my place in this life. I hear some Aspies saying they don’t fit in. Why me? Whine and cry… I never really feel that way. God gave me gifts. I have this gift to see things clearly. I tend to be smarter than most people. I don’t panic. And most importantly I have hope; I know I have a purpose to my life.
I am so thankful for all that I am! Thankful for all that I have. Thankful for hope. Life as an Aspie is awesome.
If you can say the universe is just one big accident, then you can say that I am just an accident. And if I am nothing more than an accident, I serve no purpose. In the words of Spock “illogical”.
Then there are my personal selfish reasons for my faith. I like to feel loved and accepted. Who doesn’t? Yes, we Aspies spend most of our life being judged and misunderstood by NT’s. Yet I am never judged by my ‘church friends’ they always accept me for who I am. We don’t always agree, but I am always accepted. I love that feeling of acceptance and I always have.
If you are the parent of an Aspie child, consider ways to give him or her that hope and acceptance.
The question isn’t How can I have faith? The question is How can I not?!?